As an astrologer I am often asked for an analysis of compatibility between two charts. “Is this person my soulmate?” is usually the way the question is phrased. The idea that there is one perfect person who is just made for us, a “twin flame” as it is often described, is a captivating one. We may feel that once we find this perfect person, who harmonizes with us in every way, we would feel whole and complete and our lives would be made more satisfactory.
What I have seen in the real world is that the longest lasting marriages are not the ones that are most harmonious astrologically. In fact, some of the longest marriages are perhaps the least compatible. In the real world we are drawn to people who have qualities which we ourselves do not – the partners that complement us rather than provide merely a mirror or reflection of ourselves.
The concept of soul mates is so romantic. Think of Plato’s description of the original humans, with their four arms, four legs and single heads of two faces, which sounds maybe a little unsettling but becomes so sweet once the mortal puzzle pieces get separated in half and have to find one another to become whole again. Why wouldn’t anyone want to be with someone who was made for them in heaven?
Well, because taking that view of a relationship could ultimately contribute to the couple’s demise, according to in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Researchers observed that while there are myriad ways people talk about love, two common ways of framing relationships — the “other half/soul mate” approach and the […]