Relationships

Soulmates: Are you really made for each other?

soulmatesAs an astrologer I am often asked for an analysis of compatibility between two charts.  “Is this person my soulmate?” is usually the way the question is phrased.  The idea that there is one perfect person who is just made for us, a “twin flame” as it is often described, is a captivating one.  We may feel that once we find this perfect person, who harmonizes with us in every way, we would feel whole and complete and our lives would be made more satisfactory.

What I have seen in the real world is that the longest lasting marriages are not the ones that are most harmonious astrologically.  In fact, some of the longest marriages are perhaps the least compatible.  In the real world we are drawn to people who have qualities which we ourselves do not – the partners that complement us rather than provide merely a mirror or reflection of ourselves.

So :

The concept of soul mates is so romantic. Think of Plato’s description of the original humans, with their four arms, four legs and single heads of two faces, which sounds maybe a little unsettling but becomes so sweet once the mortal puzzle pieces get separated in half and have to find one another to become whole again. Why wouldn’t anyone want to be with someone who was made for them in heaven?

Well, because taking that view of a relationship could ultimately contribute to the couple’s demise, according to  in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Researchers observed that while there are myriad ways people talk about love, two common ways of framing relationships — the “other half/soul mate” approach and the […]

By | 2014-08-06T08:20:45+00:00 August 6th, 2014|Relationships|1 Comment

Why we click with some people and not others

relationship astrologyAs an astrologer, I understand that when we click with some people and not others it’s because planetary interactions between the charts of different individuals manifest differently.  If your Mars (aggression) is in a challenging aspect to my Moon (emotional sensitivity), I may feel threatened or irritated by you.  If your Pluto (power and intensity) sits on my Sun (expression of Self) I may feel overpowered by you.  If your Venus aligns with mine, I will probably love you instantly!

So :

I have always been fascinated by this question.

With some of my friends, we can go for years without connecting. Yet, when we do come back together, it feels like no time has passed.

With other friends, however, the process is much less organic. There seem to be inbuilt “requirements” – which I sometimes feel I should be sensing without needing to be told….yet don’t. …

As my mentor explained, all pots of energy are necessary – and all are desirable. But not all pots of energy mesh well with one another.

When we meet someone who seems to come from our same or similar “pot” of energy, the organic (first kind) of friendship takes place. It is effortless. We just “get” one another. Neither party worries when the other disappears for a time. Intuition and faith guides the connection through its ebbs and flows. There is a natural joy of “getting” another person and being “gotten” by another person in turn – it cannot be manufactured or orchestrated in any way, because the two friends were born from the same pot. They are standing on the same foundation.

I’m not sure this is a satisfying explanation.  I have five or six really good friends, […]

By | 2014-06-17T14:18:43+00:00 June 17th, 2014|Relationships|0 Comments

The astrology of George Clooney’s engagement

George clooney astrology engaged

The world’s most eligible bachelor is off the market – George Clooney has renounced his claim that he will never marry again and has become engaged to Amal Alamuddin, British human rights attorney.

George’s Sun is in Taurus, the sign of earthly delights, stability, security. Taureans crave a peaceful and serene environment and typically do not like change, but because his Sun is conjunct Mercury (the messenger god and ruler of communication and information), there is a part of him that will also crave a variety of experiences. His Moon, representing our need for emotional security, is in Capricorn and it is conjunct Saturn, the planet that rules Capricorn. This is what we astrologers call a “double whammy,” indicating that the Saturn/Capricorn principle of hard work and solitude is fused with his emotional needs. Saturn/Moon people need lots of alone time–often in their childhood they can be extremely lonely and unable to connect, and in later years this becomes a need for solitude in order to refresh one’s sense of safety.

Mars (personal drive and will) is in Leo in George’s chart, and this is where we find his prankster nature and love of practical jokes for which he is well known. Venus (relating to others) is in Aries, showing that George likes to take the lead in relationships. He in fact has been quoted as saying that he likes to be the one that pursues women, and not the other way around. With Mars and Venus both in fire signs (Leo and Aries), he has a natural exuberance. But I suspect very few people are able to get close to George because of the […]

By | 2014-05-14T07:25:05+00:00 May 14th, 2014|People, Relationships|2 Comments

Musings on soulmates

soulmate astrologyYesterday I did a reading for a young woman who was reeling from a breakup with a man she considered her soulmate.  She was mystified by the ending of the relationship and was hoping to find some clues that would help her to move on.  This type of situation occurs frequently, and it’s very interesting from an astrological perspective.  Nearly always there is a big transformation that results from the relationship – an opening of the heart, a letting go of emotional baggage – that wouldn’t have happened without this particular relationship.  But then when the transformation is complete the relationship ends if it doesn’t meet the long-term needs of the individual.

Most people are looking for their soulmate, and some who are married too, I suppose. Many people think the soulmate will be their perfect match in every way, perhaps a mirror to reflect their own value back to them. In real life, the soulmate relationship usually doesn’t work that way.

Often when two people meet and feel an immediate connection there is a linkage between their two charts, sometimes a harmonious connection (trines and sextiles) and sometimes a challenging one (squares and oppositions). Often it is the challenging connections that feel more exciting and dynamic, but then once the excitement of the new relationship dies down the intensity of the connection has a tendency to fade, leaving the conflicting nature of the connection to be dealt with. That’s usually when we see breakups, but that is often the point where real soul growth can begin to take place.

There’s no way to definitively prove that some relationships enter our lives to clean up past karma, but I believe that this is true.  In the case of yesterday’s […]

By | 2014-01-10T08:53:41+00:00 January 10th, 2014|Relationships|5 Comments

The “Freedom/Closeness” Dilemma in relationships

Breaking Pointe Breaking Pointe

My new guilty television pleasure is the program “Breaking Pointe,” a reality show about dancers in a ballet company in Salt Lake City.  They ran last year’s season on BBC America which is where I found it, and then this year’s season ran on the CW network.

One of the featured dancers, Allison, is involved in a classic push me/pull you relationship with Rex, another of the dancers.  In this kind of relationship one partner is pushing to be closer and the other one is distancing – pushing away.  However what often happens is that the roles switch and the formerly distancing partner becomes the one who wants to be closer.

In the Allison/Rex dynamic, Allison was involved with another man, Jonathan.  Then she and Rex had an affair and she broke up with Jonathan.  Rex still wanted to be with her and she pushed him away.  Then she realized Jonathan was a jerk and now she wants to be with Rex.  Now Rex is saying, not so fast – I’m not so sure I want this.

Howard Sasportas and Liz Greene coined the term the “freedom/closeness” dilemma to describe the conflict between the basic need to attach and feel safe with another human being and the need to differentiate the Self and become more comfortable as an autonomous individual.  This is a process that begins in infancy but it can become distorted and corrupted in certain family situations.  But really, those of us with this dynamic were born with a prospensity towards this conflict, and this is evident in our birthcharts.

Certain signs and planetary placements crave closeness and security, and others indicate a push for greater autonomy and freedom.  The water and earth signs tend to […]

By | 2013-09-20T07:13:29+00:00 September 20th, 2013|Favorite posts, Relationships|16 Comments
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