For the most astrological fun you can have with your clothes on, you owe it to yourself to visit where he takes on astrological issues with humor AND astro-intelligence. Today he sits down with Chiron over a bottle of vodka:
I was sitting around last night contemplating my Solar Return chart in the traditional manner — over a bottle of cheap vodka — when the door bell rang. A pizza delivery car was idling outside. Not having ordered a pizza, but with a professional astrologer’s keen instincts for a free meal, I answered the door. Much to my surprise, the pizza was being delivered by no less than Chiron the Centaur himself.
“This must be an awkward moment for you” Chiron said.
“You’re telling me,” I replied. “I didn’t order a pizza, and I’m broke.”
“I didn’t mean that. I mean, you’ve never written about me, ever. And I rarely hear you mention me in your consultations.”
I felt myself blush a little, something that doesn’t happen much any more. “Well, you know I prefer a more mechanistic approach to my astrology. You know –”
Chiron interrupted. ” ‘I’ll tell you when you get hit by the truck, you figure out how youfeel about it.’ I know. It’s one of your favourite lines.”
I set the pizza down on the coffee table. “Look, I realize that the functions you represent are vital to the counselling process. Really, I do. I just have a hard time seeing the practical use of you in a reading. It’s not like a nice solid Uranus transit squaring natal Mars screwing up your blood pressure.”
“Isn’t Sun square Chiron on the Midheaven one of the tighter aspects in your chart?” Chiron asked.
“Yes,” I replied. “And that should make me some kind of expert if there was any sort of observable –”
“And aren’t you sitting around in the dark, drinking for no obvious reason, feeling all bad about your existence, right before your Solar Return?”
I glanced around. “I just haven’t changed the light bulb yet. Honest. So is this what you do now: go around handing out meals people can’t afford and didn’t ask for?”
Chiron trotted over to the pizza box and opened it. It had extra cheese, which almost managed to obscure the Brussels Sprouts, parsnips, and liverwurst toppings. I cringed.
“No.” Chiron replied. “I go around handing out what people really need, emotionally, whether they know it or not. And it’s free.”
To find out what happens next, And for a good primer on planetary aspects, check out .
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